Illyasviel Malzahar
From Inga no Kusari wiki
| Malzahar, Illyasviel ♀ | |
|---|---|
  Exequias Cero-Dos | |
| Date of Birth | 2nd December, 1980 (31) |
| Place of Birth | Berlin, Germany |
| Player | Illyasviel Malzahar |
| Arrancar | |
Contents |
Appearance
Personality
Illyasviel is intensely introspective, preferring to reflect on what she knows, to listen and more importantly to understand rather than to speak or assume. She mulls decisions over endlessly, attempting to ascertain possible outcomes and risks rather than leaping headfirst into things. Her mind is constantly in motion on some subject or another, often to the point of distracting her from the outside world, though she can pull herself together and focus for some time when necessary.
Averse to taking a life if she can avoid it, regardless of whether it be Hollow, human, or Shinigami. Certainly willing to defend herself and use lethal force when necessary, but generally makes a serious effort to fight nonlethally. She has no compunction about taking a life if required, though; she just doesn't make a conscious effort to make it a necessity. Usually. Hypocritical in that she occasionally uses her position to excuse draining a Hollow for spirit energy in search of power. Not like anyone would miss the dumb beast, anyways.
At some point after Arrancarization, due to a marauding Shinigami's words, Ilya realized the consequences of eating souls. Those that she devoured didn't move on to Soul Society and reincarnation; they simply burnt out providing her power, their only reward eternal and permanent death. She felt no real remorse for what she had done, but was not entirely happy with the realization, that knowledge serving to cement her generally nonlethal approach; human souls no longer provided her with any real boost in power, and so she decided that it she could make do without them. Permanently. A Hollow killed the man shortly after, but she made no effort to save him, too immersed in her thoughts to care. She isn't a human rights activist or anything crazy, but will make borderline-unreasonable efforts to avoid killing humans.
As an Arrancar, Illyasviel is only too aware of the monster that she became as a mindless Hollow, remembering it as little more than an unending nightmare bereft of reason. That was not something she ever wants to revisit, either in the measure of atrocities committed or - more importantly to her - the complete lack of rationality and reason, so she makes serious efforts to stay reasonable or at least rational. She harbors no illusions about the nightmarish nature of her existence and powers, nor absurd ideals regarding a perfect world, but neither does she condone unnecessary butchery, or worse, wasting an Arrancar's mind on useless and wasteful bestial actions.
Not particularly big on killing people, yeah, but at the same time, Ilya nurses a burning need to grow stronger. Stronger than anyone else. Stronger than those who could hurt her, who would hurt her if they only could. The strong prey on the weak, and she does not intend to let her newfound power go to waste doing anything but ensuring that she is not on the losing end of that spectrum; Ilya is determined to never be at anyone's mercy again. Arrancarization was an evolution, an entry to a new life - a new chance. A way to brush aside her mortal failings and ascend to something new, something greater. Human, but so much more. To waste it would be sacrilege.
Her desire for power is extremely specific in nature; a means to an end, rather than the goal in and of itself. Power alone solves nothing. She couldn't give less of a shit about the Espada or any of their stupid power games if she tried, much less their ranks and how they treat their "inferiors." Ilya simply wants the power to protect herself, not to enforce her will on others. She doesn't look down on Espada or anyone eager to become one, per se; simply the concept. She does, however, look down on anyone who wants power simply for its own sake, or worse desire it for power over others. Her facade of calmness has a tendency to crack in the presence of the latter. She feels no particular need to protect others unnecessarily, but is thoroughly disgusted by the very concept of power over others being a motivation.
On a related note: as a very recent ascendant to the status of Arrancar, and - frankly speaking - an exceptionally weak one at that, she missed most of the drama regarding the Las Noches court in the past, and doesn't give two shits about it now. Politics in general are simply outside the scope of what she even considers in most of her ponderings. She harbors no political ambitions, going so far as to join the less-visible Exequisas rather than become embroiled in the Numeros/Espada struggle for supremacy.
The hatred that once defined her entire existence still rages within her ceaselessly, an endlessly smoldering bed of embers. Restrained at best; she masks it well, and generally manages to live her life without going into a berserker rage every time she stubs her toe, but it's still down there, deep inside; loathing for those who wronged her, as well as those who let it happen. Hatred of her own weakness. Jealousy of those who are strong. It is not a rational emotion, subject to reason and logic - it simply exists, primal and eternal, biding its time until her full anger is unleashed again. Yet another reason to stay in control of herself and avoid reverting to a more beastly intellect, even temporarily; it may be a part of her, an integral facet of her existence, but Ilya fears it as well.
Her intense loneliness as a human transferred to her Arrancar state; no matter that she is now surrounded by those vaguely like her, entirely too many still border on little more than beasts. Those that do not are all too often defined by their lust for power and battle rather than any positive traits; cowardice, ego, brutality, cruelty, ruthlessness. She doesn't necessarily see herself as superior, not completely blind to her own failings, but definitely doesn't feel an innate kinship to other Arrancar.
Immature and stupid as it sounds even to herself, she still hungers for friends, equals rather than lessers or greaters or prey. On the flip side, she wasn't good at making friends as a human, and she's pretty much worse at it now. The whole immortal demon-monster thing doesn't really give her a lot of options to parade around Seireitei asking for pen pals, either. On the flip side, needing friends reeks of weakness, so she isn't really sure where to go with that - can't just come out and say it without sounding like an idiot, no real idea how to go about it subtly, if that's even possible. The conundrum has bugged her, on and off, for some time.
Illyasviel is an intensely curious individual, always eager to learn; an avid reader and occasional hobbyist, learning new facts and skills are her guilty pleasure. She enjoys learning new things about her body, as well; training, practicing, learning to duck and spiral through the air or launch scything torrents of crimson death. Her pride makes it a bitter pill to swallow to show weakness to another, even for something as reasonable as tutoring, so what she does know so far is mostly self-taught or learned through combat with foes throughout her admittedly-short existence as a Hollow, and now Arrancar.
She can be fairly arrogant in her assumptions and judgements, occasionally misjudging or failing to understand people but nearly absolutely trusting her own perceptions. A flaw that she unwittingly carries over nearly wholesale from her days as a human, though amplified by her new existence and stronger self-image. Ilya is not, however, egotistical. The difference between the two is subtle, but boils down to two different approaches - she is fully aware of her own vulnerability and weakness, but tends to misjudge others and finds it difficult to believe that she could be wrong.
History
I was - lonely as a human. Self-absorbed, intelligent, but not smart enough to consider my words. Not a genius, by any definition, but quick of wit and possessed of a combination of sharp tongue and a tendency to be right. Not a winning combination at the best of times, and I hadn't the charisma to even begin to counter the harm I did to myself with my own words, the damage to the perceptions others held of me. Not outright offensive, you understand, merely exceptionally abrasive and blind to my own failures. I was bitter, too; unable to perceive the truth of the situation, only knowing that I was disliked by a great many people. I blamed them, of course.
I suppose it may be odd that I do not remember the exact form of my death. It was somewhere in the school building, of that I am certain, but the precise manner eludes me. I suspect that on becoming a spirit, a Jibakurai as they are known in Soul Society, my mind simply ceased to record anything outside of my building obsessions. Ah, yes. Those obsessions? They were quite simple, and at the time, they seemed perfectly reasonable. In retrospect, I suppose they were uncalled for, but hindsight is always twenty-twenty, as the saying goes.
When I died, my all-too-human bitterness quickly intensified into hatred that grew exponentially at those who had outlived me, left me to my fate. It vastly hastened Hollowification; I - time is relative, you understand, I have no actual knowledge of how long it took, but the duration was sometime less than three years. I do not remember the circumstances of the fall, only the moment - a glorious, unstoppable tide of power, of hatred and disgust and detest, washed over my like a tsunami. Even then I could feel the unearthly nature of the power, the darkness within, but it resonated so well with my hatred that it seemed natural. Welcoming. Something that I immediately knew I had waited all my life for. It felt that way, at any rate. I theorize that I may have seen a classmate perform some act that finally set me over the edge, but it is just as possible that my chain simply finished disintegrating then; I remember all too clearly how it had been shortening with what I know now to be unusual speed, doubtless due to the already-vast quantity of negative emotion inside me.
The process of becoming a Hollow, in turn, multiplied my hatred a thousand times over, and I ended up butchering nearly everyone in the school at the time in an orgy of slaughter. It was quite therapeutic. As with much of my life as a bestial Hollow, I don't particularly remember the details; names, faces, individual screams. Imagery is broken, stilted; faces blur together with shattered bodies and oceans of blood. On a more positive note, I gained enough spirit energy in the process to re-acquire just enough intelligence to realize instinctively that a very immediate vacation of the premises was in order. I had no knowledge of the Shinigami at the time - how could I, a freshly-born Hollow? - but my body was in control, not my mind, and so I fled the scene in very short order.
I wandered for a time, but my memories of that particular saga are even vaguer; it is quite safe to assume that I continued to devour human souls, but given that I didn't die in the process, I can only guess that I must have had the good fortune to avoid Shinigami - Hollow or no, I was entirely mindless, and I doubt that I was all that powerful either. Any trained Shinigami could likely have dispatched me with ease; beasts are easily put down. At some point, I found my way to Hueco Mundo, perhaps on the coattails of a Gillian or another, stronger Hollow's Gargantua. I like to imagine that it was a daring escapade, a fearless infiltration. In reality, I was likely too stupid, too blind, and too incautious to know better than to go.
Still, once in Hueco Mundo, I discovered in short order that it had not been a fool's errand; I quickly developed a taste for Hollow flesh, or perhaps more accurately, their reiatsu. Upon realizing that it would make me even stronger than the piddling prize of human souls, I quickly gave up on the human world entirely - I'd killed and devoured pretty much everyone she'd ever hated, after all, so I didn't have any real bonds left - and focused on my new work. I must have developed a more intelligent self at some point, given that I remember flashes from that time more effectively than in the human world, but it doesn't matter. Sustained and propelled ever onwards by the writhing mass of hatred at my core, bereft of purpose beyond survival and death, I simply - existed. I fought. I killed. I devoured my foes when they lost, or ran when they overpowered me.
I remember that timeframe better, but I do not like to dwell on it. Burgeoning intelligence or no, I was still animated by little more than bestial intelligence and my own hatred. Of what, I'm not entirely sure. Myself, possibly. It doesn't really matter, and the story isn't really all that interesting, either. There are plenty of mindless monsters to be found fighting on the shifting sands of our fair domain; I fit in flawlessly.
All good things must come to an end, and eventually I regained enough of my self - powers of rationality and reason, rather than mindless rage and hunger - to somehow instinctively understand that I needed to remove my mask to grow in power. I was a very young Hollow, by most standards, so I suppose it was to be expected that when I became an Arrancar, I did not magically ascend to the top of the pecking order; I gained immeasurable power, or at least immeasurable to my limited experience, but it didn't take long to realize that I was still little more than a bit player. A nigh-irrelevant blip on the perceptions of those who had true strength, unadulterated power.
It was around then that I realized what I had become while bereft of my reason; a monster, a mindless spirit driven by instinct rather than reason. It was not a pleasant realization. Coming to term with how much time I had wasted as a mindless beast was not particularly ego-boosting, to say the least. At least it was not entirely wasted; I learned from my mistakes. I resolved to make good on my new existence without depriving others of theirs unnecessarily. Mind, I didn't suddenly grow a conscience; it was simply the startling nature of my realization, and the knowledge of what a waste of time pursuing souls simply for its own sake was.
I've never particularly been a stickler for rules, for the laws that keep human society so boring despite their own constant best efforts to break them, but I do have a certain degree of interest in people not being fucking stupid. People, in this usage, refers to Hollows and Arrancar as well as human; it's just a habit from when I was human to refer to all the groups as people. An illogical, but ultimately harmless, quirk. Regardless. Once I became somewhat acquainted with the existing society, I somehow got the idea into my head that I ought to become an Exequisas, one who could help - for lack of a better word - "police" Hueco Mundo, if only to the best of my limited abilities, and try to keep a certain semblance of order. Failing that, I'll settle for trying to keep everyone from killing each other. The Espada never really appealed to me, but I've never once looked back from my decision. It's only been a few years, and I still have a long time to go before I am anything more than a rank and file enforcer with a penchant for rehabilitating the occasional disruptive Hollow, but time is on my side.
I am an immortal existence, a being no longer held back by the laws of nature. History is mine to change, if I prove myself worthy for the task.
Combat
Strengths
Quick-witted, good memory, and perceptive. Not to be confused with genius or extreme and inhuman intellect - she's just bright. It's still a fairly sizable advantage against a more bestial or less tactical opponent, though as an advantage it does lose some of its luster against intelligent opponents; again, not a genius-level intellect. it would allow her to lower the penalty of fighting against a legitimate genius, though, or at least make an effort to hold her own.
Cautiousness has its place in a fight, as well; she's more likely to question a supposed opening or odd occurrence rather than champing at the bit, making her less likely to overextend herself.
In the very rare occurrence that she allows herself to be overcome by her hatred, her fighting style effectively reverses; she becomes offensive almost to the point of sacrificing defense, capitalizing on every opportunity to exploit a weakness or moment of vulnerability. No, she doesn't get a power boost, just a complete stance change. The circumstances that would be required to transpire to induce this state are rare to the point of bordering on nonexistence.
Weaknesses
Passive rather than aggressive; generally waits to see what the opponent does rather than taking opportunities. This is not always outright harmful, but she wastes plenty of perfectly valid opportunities while avoiding possible ambushes or feints.
Absolutely no formal swordfighting history. Apprenda she gains is based purely on in-character experience rather than any sort of history in sword combat. Starting completely from scratch, rather than a baseline.
No fraccion or long-term allies whatsoever. Ilya is alone in Hueco Mundo, with no one to mourn her death or swoop in and heroically save her at the last moment before a fatal attack strikes.
Can very easily overanalyze a situation and overestimate an opponent, causing her to end up even more passive and defensive than usual. It's a snowballing effect with her natural tendency to be passive in combat; the more passive she is, the more her opponent can push her, and the more defensive she becomes in response. She's not exactly an unstoppable juggernaut of destruction.
...Partially because when she does go on the warpath, she ends up sacrificing defense to maximize offense. Min/maxing for offense at the cost of protection doesn't work quite as well when defense is sort of the thing keeping you from dying horribly.
